I turned forty-nine a few weeks ago. One year away from 50. Wow! Not too far away from another milestone. I no longer associate myself with the 20 somethings, even the 30 somethings. Although sometimes I feel that age. I do not mentally feel forty-nine. But, whoa, does my body feel its age. It was just six years ago I embarked on a journey that would change my life. You can read about it here.
Raise your hand if you feel like your life started over at 45, or even at 50. That's the way I feel. For the last six years, I feel like I am just now starting to live. Then recently was told to hunker down!
These last few months I've had to deal with the past calling. A past I don't want to repeat. There were days I'd answer, then days where I'd ignore it. A past filled with food, insecurities, loneliness, and doubt.
Most of my friends are married and have been for at least 15 years. I know they secretly think this, although they won't say it, they live vicariously through me. Yeah right! Head on over here to be entertained by my adventures in throwing my hat in the dating game.
So here I am...age 49. Isn't this the time for the midlife crisis to begin? How can you when you're concerned with everything that comes when approaching 50?
I also realized a smaller circle of close friends is better than a huge circle of friends who breeze in and out. Oh my gosh! This right here resonated with me. After watching this, although comical, the lesson was on point. I'd rather have that small circle of friends who not only tolerate me, but encourage me, support me, and understand me. Felt a little like belting out Sheldon Cooper's speech.
To be honest, I'm ready to start living again. The last two years have not been kind. I went through stressful unemployment, then a stressful job that made me question for what reason was I chosen for the job. After 8 months, I knew. Last month, I started a great job and it was a huge turn around for me. What I learned I now can apply with this new one. And, maybe I was meant to teach or show the man in charge how to mellow out. I will tell you, it didn't work. Yes, amidst these crazy times where half of us are itching to get out and the other half bolt their doors, something good happened.
So yes I feel like I can start living again. This is a beginning of a new chapter for me. And I decided it'll be all about me. Making my world beautiful. Everything that surrounds it.
Stick with me if you want to be entertained, shown a hack or two, or motivated. I'm going to let the machine pick up when the past comes calling....how about you?
